Juniors come in all shapes and sizes, some of which qualify for brat status. The experienced player will recognize the following four types, which are not mutually exclusive.
  1. The consumer brat opens packets of crisps and slurps his coke whenever you take more than a few seconds over your move. Even armed with a pint, some soon to be opened cans and a half eaten curry, adult behaviour is never so dire.
  2. The energetic brat cannot sit still. Whether using your shins for target practice, or doing the seated equivalent of bouncing on his feet, you are always aware of his physical presence. A practical demonstration that you can kick harder is often effective, though it may be wise to check first that his parents aren't lawyers.
  3. The bored brat gives the impression that anything and everything else is more interesting than the game you are playing. He does regular rounds of the other games to see how they are progressing, fits in a few private games on his gameboy or mobile phone, and late in the game makes only fleeting visits to the board to see if you have resigned yet.
Fortunately there have been very few brats of the above types operating in the Stoke league in recent years. Unfortunately the same cannot be said about the last type:
  1. This creature, too ghastly to have any qualifier attached to their brat title, is easily recognisable. He, or even worse, she, is clearly of an age that should be in bed before the completion of the game, and has the temerity to actually beat you. Yuk!